Singapore Day 2014 will be in London

Singapore Day 2014 will be in London this year on the 29th of March. I know I've barely left Singapore but I am not going to miss the chance as I'll be visiting a friend in London anyway. 

Singaporean expats, have you registered? 

Singapore Day in London 2014

Looking forward to a chance to meet Singaporeans who have been in Norway as well as other expat singaporeans. Can't wait to share and learn about their lives and experiences. Not to mention to pig out on some Singaporean food before I reach Norway! 

How to baby led wean - the good, the bad and the messy

1. You have to wait till baby is developmentally ready. Sitting up on his own and able to reach for food and bring it to his mouth. Guidelines advise starting at 6 months but some babies may take longer to reach that stage.

Getting familiar with utensils at 6 months the week before solids were introduced.

2. Equip yourself with knowledge by attending an infant first aid course. Send your family members for one too. Myself, my sister and my husband had all attended this. Go for this even if weaning the traditional way as you can never tell when an emergency might occur.

3. Start slow, be patient and babies don't eat much. 

Shredded apple was great as one of the first few foods. Grabbed and shoveled into the mouth. Of one grated apple maybe two spoonfuls made it into his mouth. 

4. Be prepared for mess. Give your baby the freedom to explore taste, textures and motor skills. Buy a good baby safe all purpose cleaner and be prepared.

Messy but easily and quickly cleaned while baby is being bathed by his papa.

5. Always keep in mind the textures of foods you are presenting to your baby. I steam my fruits and vegetables and ensure its possible to grip but mashable by gums. Crinkle cutting can improve grip.

The joys of carrot.

Sweet potato ain't so bad either.

6. As baby's skills develop so does the type of foods and textures

7. Trust your baby's abilities, but be careful not to push him beyond his ability.

8. Read Gill Rapley's Baby Led Weaning book or Gill Rapley's page

9. Enjoy this laid back easy way of introducing food to your child.

10. Eat out without worrying about preparing porridge or puréed foods in advance. I would sometimes bring suitable fruits and vegetables depending on the stage he was in.

Gnocchi- fine dining like a pro ( yes some mess, so pick baby friendly restaurants)

Slurping noodles

Remember though that with weaning either the baby led way or the traditional way, it is best to read up about choking hazards and be prepared for this possibility. I'm very afraid of round foods and though my son eats like a champ, I panic at the sight of a whole grape or tomato in his reach. Always consult trusted professionals that you know if in doubt about the sensibility of this method. 

This a light hearted post and has not delved into the deeper aspects of weaning and what led me to decide to go down this route. I'm happy to share the resources I used and my own experiences with anyone who wants to chat about it. Just drop me a note on the comments or Facebook. 

Share your weaning experiences with me and photos too! :) 

The mystery of the choked toilet

Friday morning the toilet in the master bedroom suddenly got choked. The water was not draining as it should. I looked at my son suspiciously. He looked back like this:

"What? I didn't do anything mama." 

Hmmm, we watch him like a hawk in the bathroom. He has an agenda when in the bathroom. 

Usually, it's to head straight to the toilet and throw the toilet paper next to it into it. He generally pulls it off in pieces, and that is not too bad. 

I had to call the plumber and $250 later found the culprit. 

The number 4 stacking cup, one size smaller than this one was retrieved from the toilet. Hmmm. 

I look at him suspiciously now all the time. Twinkle in his eye, and I'm on my guard. 

Kindergarten (Barnehage) in Singapore

When moving one of the first things on the mind of a parent with a young child is Kindergarten/ Barnehagen. I can share my very short but defining experience of an infant care centre in Singapore. This was one of the better/ fancier infant care centers I found where in theory they recognized the importance of play and so on.

My son was about 9 months at the time, and we had to find alternative childcare arrangements than what had been working for us before. I was extremely torn about placing him in anyone else's care other than my own. We lasted 3 days. I pulled him out due to the emotional stress of separation and a few things I noticed at the centre that helped me make up my mind. We could have persevered and my son would have gotten used to it, but there were certain things that made me decide on a live in nanny who could cater more to his needs.

1. I saw a child reach out and gently touch another child. The staff moved the other child's hand away and positioned her away from the other kid. ( Are we teaching our children not to share touch and emotions? Would this environment train my son to be afraid to approach others?)

2. Almost no outside play time. (I've seen many kindergartens bring the children out to play for about 20 mins. My son sometimes plays with them, but he is usually at the playground for an hour and a half in the mornings. With only 20 mins, my son would get cabin fever. )

3. Extremely restricted play and movement indoors, for fear of children hurting themselves. (My son is a thrill-seeking dare devil. However, because of his adventurous spirit he has good mastery of his body for his age. I cringed at the level of unnecessary safety these centers practiced.

4. Children were often sitting in a circle staring at each other, playing by themselves in a very controlled environment. What made up my mind was the restriction the toddlers faced. A good amount of physical activity and exercise outdoors is obviously important in early development. Sadly this is just not available in Singapore.

 We are looking for Barnehage for our little one soon. I hope Norwegian culture is less risk averse than Singaporean culture. I hope he has a chance to run and play, and fall in all weather.

Photo Sunday - Toddlering at playgrounds in Singapore

The many playgrounds available for little toddlers to run about in Singapore:

At the family corner under a HDB block

At the water playground NEX Serangoon

Hot at the neighborhood playground

Another neighborhood playground

Yeah I can stand on the merry-go-round

The coolest playground in the neighborhood

A walk around my kampong

On my walk to the playground that my son loves to go to, we often have to make many stops. My son has to say hello to the many friends that he has made in the neighborhood. Hello, to the domestic helpers with the ah mas (grandmothers) in their care downstairs. Hello, to the group of active seniors hanging out and working the exercise machines in the corner. Further down, and we would hear my son's name being called. Hello! With a big smile to the friendly Bangladeshi neighborhood cleaner.

It amazes me, that the many different cleaners in our neighbourhood know our son on a first name basis. We often feel like we are in his entourage as he goes on his walk. They always have smiles for him, and play peekaboo by hiding behind the large rubbish containers they push around. My son has big smiles for them too.

We often hear the voice of one young girl or other saying hello as she goes by on her errands. She would be a domestic helper working in the area.

At the playground we often meet other parents and sometimes helpers. Often there will be smiles and an exchange of biodata in the format of " oh my daughter is 16months old, how old is your son." , or discussion in mandarin between parents or grandparents about whether my son is a girl because he has long hair. ( yes he has some lovely curls, but he is wearing blue shorts and looks like a body builder!)

But sadly, there are also times we meet local parents who refuse to smile, who shun my son's cute advances and offers of prized sticks or dried leaves. His little offers for friendship are sometimes ignored or outright rejected. I know, this is just being Singaporean sometimes.

A large part of the sense of community I feel are from the migrant workers who bother to know and smile at my son. I thank them for their genuine sincerity. They give me a feel of that long lost kampong spirit.

International relocators - an update

After requesting quotes I received calls from moving companies. I found out that I need about a 20ft container for our belongings.

The more professional ones suggest letting their packers pack your belongings to ensure it arrives safe. One company dubiously suggested not repacking my clothes and just wrapping up my chest of drawers. The better ones also assure that the companies they are working with in the country you are moving to are their own men, or a from a trusted local company they have worked with before.
Doing some googling about the companies refusing to be responsible or behaving badly gives you some reassurance if the company you are selecting comes out in the clear.

I found a really helpful list on expat living Singapore. http://www.expatliving.sg/living_in_sg/moving_to_sg/International-relocation-companies-Reader-recommendations-6323.ece

Hope I can settle on something by end of the month!

The resourceful hairdresser

About 8 or 9 years ago, I found a black and white photocopied advertisement in my balcony that was slotted under the door to my  house. It had a few amazing offers, one of which was a $5 haircut. The hairdresser was located in a HDB near my own home. At that time, I was quite sick of my long, massive mane of hair. It was a pain to maintain, and though I dreamt of gorgeous movie stair curls, I was generally not the kind of girl who enjoyed taking a few hours to get ready in the morning.

 My sister and I called and made an appointment with a lady who seemed to know enough English to be able to understand that we wanted to drop by. She replied in a mix of strongly accented mandarin and a few simple English words. Strangely, that did not stop us from going to see her.

She welcomed us into her home, where her little girl greeted us with a cute hello and ran away. She had a salon type reclining chair in the kitchen. In one of the bedrooms, there were two mirrors, two salon chairs and a few heat lamp things, the kind that does something to hair I never really understood. A section of the room was curtained off, and that was where the little girl played in her bed.

Our hairdresser, was a sweet lady who had recently migrated from China. I believe she was married to a Singaporean, a man I sometimes saw sitting shirtless, eating noodles in the living room. She offered us a flat bread with some gravy for a snack. She said it was typical for where she came from in the more northern part of China. Amazingly, we communicated, us in English and pidgin Mandarin, her in Mandarin and pidgin English.

She gave me the best haircut I had ever had in my life. She took that mass of hair that was hiding my face, and revealed my true self from within it. Since then I have always cut my hair the same way, because that made me look like me. Sure, I always had a reasonable amount of self-confidence and self-esteem. Still, I felt uncertain of who I was when I went in there, but I left knowing my true self in some ways. She made me see myself in a way I never had before. I always feel grateful to her for that.

She had come to Singapore an immigrant, she thought herself hair dressing as a means to supplement her household income. She provided great service and was very hardworking. She had an amazing sense of aesthetics. Her skills may not have been that of a professional hairdresser but her sense of aesthetics was far beyond any hairdresser I had met. She could see the pretty face behind the hair and bring it to life. I truly admire her.

We continued to have our hair cut with her even after we had moved from that area. We continued to have our hair cut there the last 8 years, and I introduced my husband ( then boyfriend) who thought she was the best hairdresser in Singapore. Over the years, her english improved, she upgraded her little salon when she moved home, and we saw her daughter become a young teenager.Earlier last year, she told us she was no longer is the business of cutting hair. She had found other employment and had changed career. Hairdressing in Singapore had lost a star.

Immigrant emotions (How I feel about moving)

1. Hope

I hear myself saying this word about a thousand times a day. I hope I can cope in Norway. I hope I make friends. I hope it isn't too cold for me. I hope the little boy enjoys it. I hope we don't miss family too much. I hope to grow some vegetables. I hope I integrate in society and don't remain a weird outsider immigrant my whole life. I hope I speak Norwegian well. I hope to write. I hope.

2. Fear

Within that hope, are the words of fear. The fear of never fitting in, of being different, of missing home. The fear of change, of the unknown, of having to make my own fire in a more or less wooden house. The fear of loneliness, of friends being far away, of moving away from family. The fear of no longer being employed, of being dependent ( on my wonderful husband..but still).

3. Eager

I feel a sense of ability to accomplish things I never had the time to do. I feel eager to take on a new language, eager to make friends. Most of all eager to find myself. To make my dreams come true. Eager at a chance for change and rebirth. Eager to finally put the worries of the world aside and concentrate on my passions ( because what else can I do, when trapped in the in between spaces).

4. Self-doubt

I question myself on a daily basis. Am I good enough? Good enough to be me? Am I mad? Mad for dreaming, for pursuing my passions when debt and bills linger in the background. Mad for wanting to quit the rat race, for wanting to slow down. Mad for calling myself a writer, because what else can I call myself now? When all the other identifiers are changing?

5. Excitement

How can a move spanning continents not be exciting? Wheeeeee!

6. Sense of belonging

Finding strange kinships with old friends, acquaintances or total strangers. There is a community of experience out there. Others going through the same emotions and changes. Others who have had a life changing event in the same way; a change of employment, a birth, a relocation. Suddenly I am part of a larger network or people. It's actually quite a good feeling!

7. Finding a new identity

In the last 6 months I had lost myself. Had started losing the idea of myself. Who was I really? What did I want to do with my life? I asked myself a brutal question: what would my priorities be if I knew I had only 10 more years to live? I realized I had forgotten to live my life in the midst of everything. I had passion for my career, but why was my job satisfaction thinning? Is there a greater calling that I had to pursue? What's my name?.. Luckily I knew the answer to the last one.

8. Thrifty

Going from a dual income to a single income is never easy. With such a big move and so many changes, financial future may be uncertain for many going through this process. Suddenly I feel a need to be careful about spending. I have never been terribly extravagant, but my concept of money has been about having enough not to worry. Now there is an awareness of avoiding waste. Of needing to put aside more for the unknown. In a state of madness I told my husband that I only need two pairs of shoes.

9. Creative

Leaving the known for the only somewhat known is liberating. I feel my creative process has been freed. Leaving conventional employment has got my mind on high gear throwing up crazy ideas all the time. My imagination is running wild again. In some ways I feel younger, like a child again where
 all possibilities are real ones.

10. Happiness

Happy to be moving to be with my love. To spend time with my son. To start a new life. Happy at the thought of a small garden. With this happiness comes a great deal of thankfulness. I'm certainly thankful for this change.